HALEY JAMES

How This One Quote Helps Me Completely Reframe My Mind & Overcome My Nerves Immediately

How This One Quote Helps Me Completely Reframe My Mind & Overcome My Nerves Immediately

As someone who does podcasting, youtube videos, advocacy, modeling, public speaking, running businesses etc. you would think I have this whole confident and not nervous thing down by now.

But, the truth is, I get nervous ALL the time.

It’s usually right before I publish something to share online, or speak in front of a group that the nerves hit.

Since I have an autonomic nervous system disorder that makes it so my automatic responses don’t work properly, I am actually kind of stuck in fight or flight a lot of the time. It’s unintentional and of course I do everything to change it, but that is the reality of the condition. So when my body is put in a situation that further induces that fight or flight state, my body begins to freak out and that fight or flight experience can actually impact my health for a few hours after – making it even harder to get back to the already adjusted baseline I was at before the situation.

Knowing this and just knowing that I don’t like feeling nervous and don’t ever want it to hold me back from doing what I want to do, I am always on the lookout for anything that will help take away the nerves!

So when I heard THIS quote from self-discipline strategist, New York Times bestselling author, co-founder of the International Training Company Southwestern Consulting, and motivational public speaker, Rory Vaden, I KNEW immediately that this quote could be the key!

Ready for it?

“You can’t be nervous when your heart is on service.”

– Rory Vaden –

How beautiful is that quote? I don’t know about you, but for me, right when I heard that, I felt like there was an immediate mind shift that I could feel in my whole body. It was like all the nervous tension I didn’t even know I was carrying just dissipated! 

Now I say this to myself whenever I feel those nerves beginning to creep in and it honestly helps so much! So I wanted to create this post to dive into it a bit with you so you can see how I interpret it, how I have been using and applying it and how you can use it to get past your nerves too! 

I’m so excited to get into this so let’s just dive in!

What It means to me

To me, this quote is simple, but its meaning is profound. The way I interpret this quote is that I can’t be nervous if what I’m trying to do is serve others, because it’s not about me, it’s about them. If I’m nervous, then I’m thinking that it’s about me in some way—whether that’s what I look like, what I sound like, how I’m acting, or how others will perceive me. But if I say the quote to myself, it takes me out of that state of thinking about me and puts me in a state where I’m thinking about my purpose and the reason I’m doing whatever I’m doing. And because so much of what I do is rooted in service, it’s been really helpful for me to be reminded, as many times as I need to remind myself, that it’s not about me, it’s about the people I’m serving.

I think that the quote is right, in that how could I be nervous if my heart is in the right spot and what I’m sharing is meant to be helpful? Then I’m doing the best I can with the information I have to help someone else. It doesn’t matter if I stumble over a couple of words, or my outfit is not cute or put together well, or my hair just wasn’t cooperating that day, whatever the thing may be. 

Reminding myself that it’s not about me is honestly such a mindset shift that I can easily use in the moment to help ground me back in my purpose, which is serving others through what I’m doing. And that’s why this quote has become such a powerful tool for me in both my personal and professional life.

How I use it

Whenever I find myself getting anxious or self-conscious about something I’m doing, I turn to this quote as a reminder to keep my focus on serving others. For me, that’s really the heart of everything I do in my life, whether it’s advocacy, public speaking, creating YouTube videos or podcast episodes, or modeling. I’m always striving to use my platform and my voice to help and serve others.

Of course, it’s only natural to worry about how we come across and what others will think of us. But if we get too caught up in that, it can prevent us from really connecting with others and having the impact we want to have. That’s why this quote is so powerful for me – it helps me pull myself out of that self-focused mindset and reconnect with my purpose.

I’ve used this quote in so many different situations by now – before giving a speech or a toastmasters presentation, before filming a vulnerable YouTube video about my health journey, or even before a modeling gig where I want to represent people with disabilities or medical devices in a positive way. It’s a constant reminder that it’s not about me, it’s about the people I’m serving.

And the thing is, I truly believe that. As long as my heart is in the right place and I’m doing my best to help others, the little things like stumbling over my words or not looking my best don’t really matter. When I focus on serving others and making a positive impact in their lives, everything else falls away. And that’s the kind of mindset that allows me to do my best work and have the biggest impact.

How It can help you too!

You might be thinking, “I’m not a public speaker, I don’t make youtube videos or have a podcast or do anything like that, so how could this apply to me?” Well – I think it can help in a lot of different areas of life whenever we have nerves or anxiety around a situation or event. If you are able to tie what you are doing to how it is benefiting someone else, you’ll be surprised at how much you can do!

For example, going to the doctor might make some people nervous (totally normal), but if we frame it as an act of service to our loved ones and how us being alive and at our healthiest longer will serve them, it can motivate us to prioritize our health.

Similarly, if we’re nervous about applying for a new job or leaving a current one, we can think about how finding a better work environment that isn’t making us as stressed out, depressed, or frustrated can allow us to better serve our family, friends, and community. Instead of just thinking, “I want a new job, but I’m too afraid to leave this one or to start somewhere new,” and making it about ourselves and our feelings towards the situation, if we can link it to how it will benefit others if we leave, we will be more likely to get past our anxiety and take action!

Another example is sharing our personal stories or experiences. It can be scary to open up and be vulnerable about what we have or are going through, but if we consider how sharing our struggles and triumphs can serve others who may be going through similar situations, it can give us the courage to speak out and make a positive impact!

This quote can help you because it reminds us that our actions and decisions are not just about ourselves, but about how we can contribute to the world around us! By focusing on serving others, we can push past our own fears and doubts and make a difference in the lives of those we care about.

Empowering Your Purpose: Shifting Focus from Nerves to Service

I know that sometimes nerves can get in the way of achieving our goals and living the lives we want to, but hopefully by repeating this quote to yourself can really help shift your focus and give you the courage to push past your fears so you can live in your purpose of service!

What do you think about the quote? Did it hit you like it hit me the first time I heard it – leaving you feeling like a weight was just lifted off your chest? Or maybe it is something you’ll have to say to yourself a few times in situations where it can have power to really determine if it works for you. Whatever your thoughts – I would love to hear them in the comments below! I am so excited for you to try using this quote next time you are dealing with nerves or doubt, because I really believe when we focus on serving others it helps us get out of our own head and our own way and allows us to show up as our best selves and that is what I want for you!

I can’t wait to hear how it works for you friend!

As always – thanks for being here!

xx I love you, I mean it

DISCLAIMER

Please note that all content on this page, website, and any affiliated resources is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of treatment from a physician. NO information on this page or website should be used to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any disease or condition. Additionally, please be aware that some of the links on this page may be affiliate links, from which I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase through those links.

Hi! I'm Haley James

I’m a California-based purpose-driven, multi-passionate entrepreneur, chronic illness & rare disease advocate, speaker, podcaster, designer, YouTuber, content creator and really, at my core, just a woman who wants to love & help support people in creating lives they love!

How did I get here? Well, after getting really sick in my early 20’s and spending years fighting for my life, I realized I not only was fighting to live, but to live a life I truly loved! 

Now I’m on a journey to creating that life for myself and want to bring you along so you can create a life you love too! I hope you’ll join me!

Hi! I'm Haley James!

I’m a California-based purpose-driven, multi-passionate entrepreneur, chronic illness & rare disease advocate, speaker, podcaster, designer, YouTuber, content creator and really, at my core, just a woman who wants to love & help support people in creating lives they love!

How did I get here? Well, after getting really sick in my early 20’s and spending years fighting for my life, I realized I not only was fighting to live, but to live a life I truly loved! 

Now I’m on a journey to creating that life for myself and want to bring you along so you can create a life you love too! I hope you’ll join me!

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I love connecting with people in this community! It’s my favorite thing that I get to do and this is one of the places I love to do it!

I only ever want to send you things I truly believe in my heart will serve you, support you, equip you, empower you and make you feel seen, heard & loved! Which to me means 0% spam & 100% all good things!

As a welcome gift, you’ll instantly unlock a 10% discount on your first store purchase, gain immediate access to my most popular free guide and of course friendship with me and this community! We can’t wait to have you!

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As promised here is your first welcome gift! Just click below and it’ll automatically download!

Also, be sure to check your email to make sure you received my welcome email that has your 10% off discount code so you can get another gift for yourself because you deserve it!

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